12/18/2001 - With the tandem of new worries in America, we here at Winter Solstice (by "we" I mean "I") have felt the urge to post a public service announcement concerning recent events. Of course I am referring to the attack of the mole people.
We have created handy checklists to determine if you or someone you know is a mole person.
Do you know a mole person? Watch for these signals:
1. Constant complaining about new rules keeping people from traversing the sewers at will.
2. A darkening of the fur.
3. When exposed to sunlight he/she bursts in to flames screaming, "Fellow mole people, HELP ME!"
Are you one of the mole people? Look out for the following signs of "mole-person-ism":
1. A noticing that last night's dinner rat was much better tasting than this morning's still-living pigeon.
2. Increased hair growth in such places as: the backs of your eyelids, on and around your digging claws, and everywhere.
3. A sudden liking for Al Gore, inventor of the internet.
4. An increased urge to burrow far beneath your local city, plotting its demise with a host of other mole people.
Hmm... maybe I'm just in a bad mood again. Hold on folks, this could be entertaining.
